Guiding Star

If you open your heart and let the world in,
it can tell you who you are,
how to find true happiness,
and it will be your guiding star

It will tell you, keep your day job,
better buy a second car
you're gonna need that new shampoo
and folks respect a padded bra

Or in fact, you'll find the surgery
gives the best results by far
aren't you happy? we're all happy;
look, you can hardly see the scars

Towords a modden spelling sistem

So far all the poasts on this blog have been about compleatly diffrent toppics. This entry will not chainge that pattern. :-)

We all no how riddickulously inconsistent Inglish spelling is. What woud the langwidge louk like if we chainged owr spelling to follo consistent rools, cairfouly chosen to maintain the current spelling of as many wurds as possible?

Well... probbably a little like this poast. Here I'm using a spelling sistem I dizzined. It's supposed to be a uniffied sistem for all inglish - not speciffic to a partickular regional dyalect. Hence, spellings are not 100% prissise.
The rools (in order of pressiddence) are:

• 12 very common wurds - "a", "as", "is", "of", "have", "if", "all", "I", "the", "are", "to" and "you" - are unchainged.
• "ow" is pronownced as in "cow".
• "oo" is pronownced as in "boo".
• "oi" and "oy" are pronownced as in "boy".
• "ou" is pronownced as in "coud". (Tradishonnally spelled "could", of corse.)
• "ai", "ay", or an "a" that's folloed by wun consonant then a vowel, sownds like the letter "a" - as in "mate".
• When the next consonant is "r", this sownds like "hare" or "hair".
• "ea", "ee", "ey", or an "e" that's folloed by wun consonant then a vowel, sownds like the letter "e" - as in "meat".
• When the next consonant is "r", this sownds like "here" or "hear".
• A "y", "ie", or an "i" that's folloed by wun consonant then a vowel, sownds like the letter "i" - as in "mite".
• When the next consonant is "r", this sownds like "hire".
• "oa" or an "o" that's folloed by wun consonant then a vowel, sownds like the letter "o" - as in "mote".
• When the next consonant is "r", this sownds like "boar".
• "ew" or a "u" that's follode by wun consonant then a vowel sownds like the letter "u" - as in "mute".
• "a" is pronownced as in "pat".
• When the next consonant is "r", and at the end of a word, it sownds like "car" or "bra".
• "e" is pronownced as in "pet", exxept:
• When the next consonant is "r", it sownds like "her".
• If it's the oanly vowel in the wurd, it sownds like "me".
• If a wurd (with mor than one vowel) ends with "e" or "ed", the "e" is silent.
• "i" is pronownced as in "pit".
• At the end of a word, it sounds like "pi".
• "o" is pronownced as in "pot", exxept:
• At at the end of a wurd, it sownds like "so".
• If the next consonant is "r", it sownds like "cor".
• "u" is pronownced as in "putt" (as in golf), exxept:.
• When the next consonant is "r", it sownds like "cur".
• "s" is pronownced as in "sip". It never sownds like "z".
• A "c" that's folloawed by "e" or "i" is pronownced like "s" - as in "pace".
• A "c" that's folloawed by enny uther letter is pronownced like "k", as in "cat".

Wun mor rool: any vowel sownd can opshonally be pronownced as a schwa - such as the "a" in "conga".
(This is a bit of a cheat to keep mor wurds unchainged, I admit, but it arguwabley cownts as a dyalect choice.)

The weerdist chainge is probbably the "ou" rool. Inglish spelling really duzzen't have a way to distingwish sownds like "coud" from "coot". It touk me a long time to fynd a convenshon that wurked for it. Fortunatley "ow" fits nicely into moast "ou" words, so "ou" coud fill in this gap.

So... how am I dooing at folloawing my oan rools?