Friday, September 8, 2017

Evil Sloth

Controlling your diet is hard, but I found it easier when I learned (this is true), gut bacteria send signals to your brain to make you crave the kind of food they like.

In other words, if you eat sugar, you're empowering sugar-eating bacteria to make a home in your gut.

And once they're in there, they will never stop ringing the bell to make you bring them more sugar.

I realised cutting sugar is not a diet, it's a revolution! Those sugar-hungry aristocrats have been in power long enough. Time for new management.

There are few motivations stronger than overcoming a conspiracy - as political activists have discovered. Telling people "this secret organisation is to blame for all your problems" really gets them going. So anthropomorphise your problems, and you'll find suddenly they're much easier to tackle.

Exercise, for example. You're lying in bed thinking "I should get up and go for a run". Why haven't you got up yet?

It's because the Evil Sloth is manipulating you! He wants you passive and weak so that his tiny sloth larvae can keep feeding on your energy.

Screw you, Evil Sloth! I'm not letting you exploit me.